When you need to start a negotiation process with a lender, the thought of not getting the deal you need can be scary. Sometimes, borrowers take what they see in television and the media, and they think that mimicking those actions will help them to be better negotiators. When they see actors screaming at each other across the table, they think that they should do the same. However, professional negotiations usually fair better when the negotiating parties calmly explain their positions and are not overly dramatic.

There are quite a few common phrases that some borrowers use in negotiations because they have been influenced by television shows and other forms of media. Many of these phrases will only harm the case under discussion. If you remember to avoid the following phrases, remain calm, and keep your temper, you should be able to come out on top when negotiating with lenders.

What’s the lowest price you will take?

This is never a good place to start with negotiations. A statement like this could cause the lender to think you are trying to get an agreement before showing your value as a customer, which could, in turn, cause them to lose some of their respect for you. Instead, you should start by proving your value as a customer and show that you are aware of all of the other party’s needs.

I’m going to be honest with you

This phrase will usually result in the opposite effect that you had desired. Instead of assuring the lender that you are being honest, they may think that you hadn’t been completely honest up until that point. It would be better to say something like “Honestly, I feel…” instead, but eliminating this type of phrase all together will probably be to your benefit.

You’re lying to me

Using this statement, or any other similar phrase, to attempt to hurt the other negotiating party will not advance your position. You will, instead, want to find a way to stand your ground and defend your position without attacking or insulting the other party. Even if there is obvious evidence to suggest that they are lying, use that evidence to your advantage. For example, if a credit card company claims to have the best rates, but you have information from other companies that say otherwise, it would then be best to show that incriminating evidence to the lender. You may not be able to get a better deal from them, but there is a possibility to negotiate other options when you present your findings this way.

Take it or leave it

Don’t say anything like this unless you absolutely mean it. Ultimatums usually don’t give you an advantage, and there is a very good possibility that the lender will walk away after this type of statement. You may think that you are taking a step toward power and control in the negotiation process, but ultimatums could leave you with nothing more than a broken relationship with the lender.

An alternative to giving an ultimatum is to use a time frame to create a sense of urgency. Tell the lender that you will need a decision on a specific offer by a certain date and time. If they value their job and you as a client then they will spend this period trying to come up with a decision that will work for both of you.